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| 23 Weeks |
Top Ten Weird Things I Do Now
1. Get out of bed before the alarm goes off.
2. Look down to operate the copy machine at work—stare at my stomach for far too long.
3. Think about Friday's dinner during Monday's morning snack.
4. Sob over the beauty of things like nouns.
5. Dress to accentuate my weight gain.
6. Put a piece of chocolate in my mouth every few weeks. Marvel at my revulsion. Who am I?
7. Drop something on the floor and strategize how to pick it up.
8. Read children's books. Take them seriously.
9. Forget what I was saying mid-s
10. Make lists.
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