Monday, October 27, 2014

Perfect Day

3 Weeks

It's 3:11p on a Monday afternoon in our new house. Greg is at work, Ren is napping, and I am sitting in our sun-filled living room, typing, as the mail woman drives on after leaving something in our box. Just a few weeks ago, the leaves were just starting to turn and Mondays were still the start of the work week. I couldn't wait to meet Ren and for our new threesome to start a new chapter in our new home. I don't

It's 7:36p on the same day. Amazing how impossible it is to finish anything in one sitting let alone a thought. My days are filled with feeding, changing, and staring at Ren. When I have a moment to myself, I unpack a box for 60 seconds, check on Ren for 30, take a sip of water, check on Ren, unpack, Ren, water, take a picture of Ren, box, eat, Ren, sit, Ren, sit, box, Ren, sit, Ren wakes up and needs

It's 10:07p and Greg is singing Ren back to sleep. I am nodding off as I type. I think my point—the point I was planning to get to when I started this today—I have these flashes of pure joy that I can't define. I step outside of my life and look around and am overwhelmed with gratitude. I've had some pretty amazing experiences since I've been collecting memories, but it's a moment in the sun on a beautiful fall day with my little family that I will carry in my heart as

Monday, October 20, 2014

Lucky Charms

2 Weeks



"Where is the cheese grater?"

"You... you can't... if you ask me again where something is... just don't ask me where anything is. I... cannot... tell you where anything... is..."

[Gulp.] "...sorry..."

Less than a week ago we moved our amazing new threesome into our amazing new house with the help of amazing family and friends. Life has been a pretty wild ride these past few weeks. We are so grateful to have a healthy child and such loving, generous people around us. It's truly taken the village to get us this far. Ren's Gigi and Papa-son have to win some sort of grandparent award for the packing and unpacking they did for us while I recuperated. Greg has juggled work around doctor's appointments and new-house errands. Returning a cable box seems so unimportant when you're told your 10 day old kid needs the frenulum under his tongue snipped. A very small procedure, but hearing the words, "few drops of blood" makes your heart turn inside out.

Ren is exactly two weeks and two days old today and now that our new normal is creeping in, we are juggling how to set up our daily life. Not easy when a new born is in charge. Last night was our first all-night-crying-baby and last night was our first night on our own. No nurses or doctors, no grandparents, no one but us and our lack of sleep. We've done all the reading about those moments: let them cry... don't let them cry... feed them... don't... pacifier... not... over tired? Hungry? Gas pains? Colic? Growth spurt? They give babies whiskey in Ireland, right? I'm a quarter Irish...

Today, Ren has slept most of the day. It's the only reason I have had time to open my laptop and think about anything other than the color of the inside of his diaper. He still needs a boob or two every couple of hours (who doesn't?) but I've actually had time to go to the bathroom and put food in my mouth. Maybe there's a leprechaun around here with a tiny, little flask...

Instructions for Dancing

1 Week

Friday, October 3rd
10:30a - Doctor visit and sonogram. Induction is scheduled for Sunday, October 5th. They don't want us to go past week 41.
12:00p - Phone call from midwife. Amniotic fluid is too low. Go to the hospital tonight at 5p to induce. Bring luggage. Wait five long hours.
5:00p - Arrive at the Neugarten Family Birth Center. Unpack. Eat dinner. Greg and I stare at each other in preparation for the unknown.
8:00p - Doc starts first stage. Cervidil. "This will soften your cervix. Get a good night's sleep. Tomorrow we will start the induction. Some patients begin contractions with this and go into labor but it's rare. This process can take up to three days."
9:00p - Labor begins—we are rare. The midwife checks me and my water breaks. We watch movies. Waiting for Guffman and Blade Runner. Greg tries to sleep. I'm up all night with a contraction about every 9-10 minutes and post-apocalyptic visions in between. 

Saturday, October 4th
1:30a - My water gushes and there is meconium present. Ren's swimming in his own poop.
9:00a - My cervix has dilated 3-4cm. They start a Pitocin drip to escalate contractions. Those come and go every 2-3 minutes. Ren's heart rate shows signs of trouble.
5:30p - I scream and cry for an epidural. It is cheered due to lack of sleep, length of labor, small increase in dilation, and Ren's distress. I dilate to 7cm and continue to have sharp contractions on one side. Either Ren's head is caught on my pelvis or the epidural missed a spot.
8:00p - I am fully dilated and told to push. I do. Greg helps. He is AMAZING. He is my hero, my guru, my everything. Ren's head rears and disappears with every grunt. He's at an angle and having difficulty advancing.
9:30p - Ren's heart rate rockets and plummets. The doctor calls an emergency Cesarian. We are whisked off to the OR before we can blink. Unfortunately, I am able to feel much of the surgery as the anesthesia has not taken effect. I yell out with the first cut.
9:53p - I hear Ren's cry. Every uncomfortable moment of pregnancy and labor dissolve into pure joy and gratitude. I pass out.

I wake to being stitched and forget why I'm there. I babble mindlessly, answering questions I've been asked and exclaim, "Wait! I had a baby!!!" I'm told Greg is with Ren and once Ren is clean and I am sewn we will all be together again. Minutes later we are. Ren latches on to my breast immediately. Greg and Ren and I are the only three people in the world. Magic.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Ren Thomas Skura

3 Days

October 4, 2014 at 9:53pm
8lbs, 10oz, 21in
His parents are filled with absolute bliss, incomprehensible love, and gratitude.