Now, I've had the time of my life...

13 Weeks

Many folks ask about Ren's name. I tell them it came from Greg and there are several ways to explain the meaning. My elevator pitch is more like an escalator ride on China's Great Wall. The name Ren translates to many beautiful ideas in a variety of traditions and basically they all lead back to the same principle: compassion. 'Ren' also happens to be Japanese for Lotus as well as Kevin Bacon's most famous role and NWA's favorite MC.

Compassion. I have always thought it a human's greatest and most important trait—no pressure, kid—and I obsessively look for ways to incorporate it and appreciate it throughout my days, when I am not wallowing in the other side of being human. Not sure where I developed this passion. Perhaps because I hail from the U.S. belt of 'turn the other cheek' and I've a spotted history of creating a tornado's road of emotional damage. My past guilt-laden victimization forced me to change to a new view or face a life of bad television and anti-depressants. I have learned there is a dark side and I don't see the point in dwelling there. Pain, forgiveness, redemption, and move on.

Compassion. "You're going to be great parents," one of our favorite labor nurses says as she lets me take a teary picture and hug her shoulder. Within the four days of Ren's labor, birth, and recovery at The Neugarten Family Birth Center there were probably 20 to 25 other babies born within the same range of time. Somehow the administration, technicians, nurses, midwives, and doctors (all women except for the anesthetist) welcomed our family like we were being absorbed into another one. The earthy sisterhood was palpable and still polished professional. I was sure I'd end up best friends with everyone I met in that place... and yet, except for a couple of short, utilitarian check ups a few weeks after, the event, and relationship, is over. I replay it in my head often and were I to see any of those people again on the street, I'd probably jump to them like Jennifer Grey on Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing. That's how they and Greg made me feel throughout the birthing process—like I could fly (not like I was starring in a Hollywood template).

Compassion. Each staff member at the Neugarten and MKMG doctor's offices are walking metaphors for the word. They are all 'Rens'. We had doctor's appointments where we discussed our strategies for packing for our new house as a PART of our birth experience. One moment in my labor, a nurse held me like an infant and later after Ren was born, she bathed me like one too. All of them were an empathic, integral part of what it means to bring a life into the world by way of pure love and they treated Greg and I like we were heroes for doing a thing they see every day. They didn't even blink when we asked how to change a diaper. The women of Neugarten are nurturing chameleons. They make you feel like they are blissfully laboring right along with you. Truly the stuff of life and death. Every. Day. TWELVE hour shifts. The Neugarten staff are direct descendants of Florence Nightingale.

Compassion. Thank you for sharing your skill, talent, and heart Kris, Elise, Maureen, Barbara, Bridget, Margi, Marsha, Wendy, Simone, and more... Watch your back. I'll be hopping into your arms the next time I see you.